THE EXODUS OF HOPE…..ONLY IN NIGERIA?

 

Have you ever wondered why there are so many mad people in Lagos? Or so many beggars in Ibadan, or so many angry people in Warri? Or so many kidnappers in both Lagos and Port Harcourt? Or so many prostitutes in Calabar and Benin?  Or so many child marriages and child beggars in Kaduna, Sokoto and the Boko-haram torn Maiduguri? Or why our police always have "change"? Or why Nigerians are generally hot-tempered? That even at the slightest provocation they are ready to “burn at stake”? I was in a public transport some days ago and saw a woman vehemently insulting and pouring torrents on a bus conductor over N10 change. And I just thought to myself, where did it all begin? How did we get here?  Well, maybe at the birth or naming ceremony of this nation. But like others, it didn’t start as a gory tale, but as a fairy-tale which ended rather abruptly. My version is not of history but of state of being…….

In her moment of creativity, Flora Shaw, the concubine of Lord Lugard, assumed the opportunity of a lifetime, and perhaps sitting on the Cathedra of modern politics, gallant with royalty, her appearance, the splendor of a queen, her audience spell bound with great eagerness to hear her speak; in a convivial atmosphere, she proclaimed the name: Nigeria! Hence, a nation was born (or rather named). An entity, whose default configuration is still uncertain. In her words, “for a people so strong, so diverse, so nourishing by culture and nature, they would tighter form a formidable brand”. Indeed a formidable brand!

Since the naming ceremony of this nation we’ve found ourselves submerged in an unfavorable socio-economic climate that is characterized by a crop of clueless, aimless, visionless, and unfocused gang of looters posing as leaders. There is the incessant cry for secession by the Biafrans, the cries of oppression, repression and subjugation by the Niger Deltans, the threat of the Arewa youths, the absence of our president for months and counting, the undiminishing rate of unemployment staring the youths in their faces, the dearth of concern greeting the educational sector, the epileptic provision of basic amenities to the masses, the exploitative features of religious groups, the diminution of our cherished naira and the seeming down turn of the nation’s economy; yet, on a daily basis, “so-called” leaders soar on high in Arik, British and Qatar airways. Injustice is canonized and justice thus trampled upon.

Nigeria! Who can really understand her? The more you try, the more confused, confounded and sometimes angry you become. Perhaps this explains the shared anger of all citizens. Everything about her defies natural logic. From all prospects she should be one of the most endowed territories on earth, brimming with the Aristotelian potentiality of becoming an economic, social and political base for all to look up to, (well, they look up to us, just not in the positive sense). In the midst of abundance, Nigerians swim in the Mississippi of lack and abhorrent goggled poverty. You will find in Nigeria…..

-          A politician consulting God before stealing public funds and doing thanksgiving afterwards (the lighting and thunder that will hit you eh, will come from Sambisa forest!).

-          In this nation the Code of Conduct Bureau is used as the cage for political dogs.

-          Only in Nigeria would someone win an election he did not contest for.

-          Our economy seems to be on a cruising speed yet hunger stares at citizens like a confused monkey waiting for banana to fall (not that Davido type though).

-          Only in Nigeria you will pay electricity bills while using candles and lantern. (Infact I went to one of their offices recently, and found that they were using a generator set; I gave up immediately-no hope!).

-          It is only Nigeria that takes more than 4000 megawatts of power to generate darkness.

-          Only in Nigeria is it normal for a 70 year old man to be a “youth leader” and representative. (When he should be their “grand-patron”).

-          Only in Nigeria is truth on permanent holiday.

There are more vicious things that you and I know but can’t talk about for “fear of the Jews”. (Wait first o, where is Evans and Mr. President???). I know not of any country that practically celebrates clowns (unless of cause the “Trump-iac” US) and vicious men as leaders, (from the famous “Ajeku e anioje” to the “Saraki-ic plague”). Only in this country will honesty be stigmatic and looting being nifty. (Regardless of the newest job offer of “blowing whistles”). It continues……

-          Only in Nigeria would Abacha’s loot fly to Otta farm, while the death of “Air Nigeria” and “Virgin Nigeria” is still being mourned.

-          In Nigeria, a single senate committee budget rubs shoulders with state budgets. (Where we have tires of committee in the senate established to check if the president’s dinner is safe and they get paid for drinking bottled water).

-          Only in Nigeria would you see the budget for refreshment in Aso Rock, being more than the entire budget of the ministry of agriculture. (I wonder if they order their eggroll or doughnut from heaven).

-          Only in Nigeria would you find the dessert area being more populated than the temperate regions. (You won’t understand until election time).

-          Only in this geographical and demographical enclave called Nigeria would you find 160 million people nearly hopeless!

Where did it go wrong? At what time exactly? Who are the players of this game? Well, these are primordial and fundamental questions that must characterize the daily lives of all well-meaning citizens. Nonetheless, in the midst of all these, we are termed the “happiest” people on the face of the earth, one of the richest countries with the poorest peoples, one of the 20 largest economies in the world when more than 50 million citizens are homeless, hungry and forlorn. What an irony! Was this ever anticipated at the naming ceremony of this nation? I think I now see the reason that woman was angry; but was it the fault of the conductor that the nation was messed up? Well, I guess we are Nigerians and …….“that’s how we roll”.

RE-LOOTING THE LOOTS: A Tale of Thieves

I've heard alot of stuff about the recovering of the looted loots, but this is my own tale of the re-looting of the looted loots............

Daddy always bought meat pie and Limca for all of us in the house, everyday on his way from work. This was yet another highlight of our growing years. Though, we lived in what is considered face-2-face two-room apartment, he could afford the basic things of life according to his means. This was in the heat of the early 90’s, whence the socio-economic climate of the Nigerian state was somewhat cloudy as there were mixture of feelings as to the possibility of a better future. But of course, things were better off. Those of us who grew up and stayed in typical face-2-face neighborhood could afford three square meal. Presently, the black gold (even though it has reached its menopause in terms of its produce and relevance to the economy) still contributes to the economy, plus there are other means from which the government generates income. Yet, Nigerians can’t make ends meet. A civil servant cannot afford three quality square meal; meat pie and coca cola have now become luxury! (Ask my father for clarification,*I laugh in Urhobo*). But in the midst of all these, government officials go about in fleet of cars and travel abroad for treatment of “common cold”. They hinge their inability to manage the situation on the previous governments who have eloped with a vast majority of the nation’s treasure. But have these loots not been returned or so they say?

For a long time, the Nigerian antigraft agency, the EFCC has been ostensibly recovering funds looted by protuberant office holders. From the reign of Mallam Nuhu Ribadu to the administration of Ibrahim Mustafa Magu, trillions of naira have been said to have been recovered. While we applaud this unprecedented giant stride, we often forget to question the whereabouts of these “recovered loots”. Or are these great recoveries just mere propaganda to make us believe that the war against corruption is actually being fought? It is no longer news that Nigeria is currently experiencing unparalleled economic hemorrhage, worsened by the fall in oil prices and the obvious devaluation of the Naira that has placed Nigeria behind the tide of economic activities in the world.

We seem poor today because of unrestrained merciless siphoning of the treasury by every Tom, Dick and Harry saddled with the charge of managing our Commonwealth. Salaries are not being paid by states who actually get monthly allocations from the federal government as well as generate revenue internally, in spite of the fact that Nigerian civil servants are actually underpaid, and the employment ratio is actually abysmal. That’s by the way. But wait a moment, has anyone ever tried to X-ray the educational system? To find out the rot in our government universities? That's a story for another day. The loots allegedly recovered from “corrupt Nigerians” by the EFCC is enough to fund the entire Nigeria’s budget for years. Funds recovered from the Late Sani Abacha, the ever celebrated James Ibori and a host of others have eye-propping figures that can get to every Nigerian when shared even in millions. But, where are these recovered funds? What have they been used for? The EFCC cannot claim to be fighting graft when it cannot render fitting account of how the recovered loots, which according to them runs into trillions of Naira have been spent or saved. The federal government cannot claim to be fighting corruption if issues such as these cannot be made clear. I think it is high time we stopped this “Buharization” of Nigeria because it seems to be heading for ruins! You can imagine the hogwash he said about corruption during his October 1^st speech.  “Corruption is a cancer which must be fought with all the weapons at our disposal. It corrodes the very fabric of government and destroys society. Fighting corruption is Key, not only to restoring the moral health of the nation, but also to freeing our enormous resources for urgent socio-economic development…..”  (No.17 presidential speech, October 1^st ‘16). Has there been any record of account read to any committee on the looted funds? Has there been any proof that these returned loots have been put to full utility? Or Nigerians are not entitled to these information? Yet, a supposed president came out with his political jargons of anti-corruption achievements! On a day the nation ought to be celebrating freedom and fairness. Oh Nigeria!

The problematic with most Nigerians is that we often show “I-don’t-care” approach to matters regarding our communal wealth. There’s nothing to show that the recovered loots have been put to civic use. Even if they have, the impact has not been felt. We need detailed clarification in that regard. I dare to say that as far as loots recovered are re-looted, we would continue to cuckold ourselves in the fight against corruption. The “Dasukigate” and “Metugate” are just a few of the thousands of “gates” that we have not yet unearthed. Ribadugate, Wazirigate, "Melayegate", Lamordegate, Magugate and of course Buharigate should be investigated. Did I just say investigate?  Wait! Who will investigate the investigators? This Nigeria sef!